Flying Lessons with Kelly Rae

Last week I created this felted wool butterfly pin.  It was easy, I just added tiny beads to the center and layered two butterfly diecuts (Sizzix). 

I love butterflies and perhaps one of the reasons I love them so much is because it reminds me of something my mom told me many years ago.  I grew up in a conservative Hispanic family where the children would grow up, get married and live nearby.  I grew up visiting my grandmother every weekend and frequently, spending the weekend with her and my aunts.    Frequently, during these visits, I would also see  numerous aunts, uncles and cousins.  I was the first one in my generation to go to college and graduate (my brother and sister soon followed).  Living in El Paso, Texas  finding a job in the accounting profession was not easy so I realized during my senior year in college that I needed to apply for positions outside of El Paso.  This was perhaps one of the most difficult decisions I have made in my life.   It was difficult  because it meant I would be leaving the comforts of home and all that I knew into the unknown.  This is also one of those times where I listened to my instinct...it told me, go for it!  I was 20 years old at the the time and I think I talked myself into it by telling myself to give it a year.  No matter how homesick I would get or unhappy I could be, I promised myself I would stay for one year.  If at the end of that year it did not work out for me, I would just move back home.  I think having that safety net gave me the courage I needed to leave my family and home.  

My decision was very difficult for many, but none more than my mom.  In her mind, this was not how it was suppose to be.  I was not suppose to move to another city after I graduated college.  She always wanted the best for me...an education she could never have.  My mom is a self-taught dressmaker...the best in my opinion.  I was always in awe to see her create beautiful wedding dresses with no patterns at all.  She simply took measurements and a picture taken from a bridal magazine and created hand beaded gowns.  Frequently, I would hear brides asking for a certain top but different bottom or different sleeves...resulting in a customized wedding dress.  My mom may not have a formal education, but she always impressed me with her skill and ability to learn so much on her own.  My mom loved creating those wedding dresses! 

I know my mother struggled when I moved to Houston Texas to work as a tax auditor and constantly worried about me living alone in such a large city.  But, she was able to put her own fears aside for a moment and told me I was her butterfly.  I was meant to fly, even if it meant I was to fly away from home.  I have always remembered that. 

As difficult as that decision was for me to make, I know it was the right decision for me.  Within that year I met my husband so my plan changed.  I never returned to live in El Paso.  To this day, I also know my decision to not return to live in El Paso pains my mom.  She misses not being able to see me or my children as often as she sees my sister and brother and their kids/spouses (they all live less than 2 miles away).  Sometimes, I miss having that option, but I also know in my heart, I am where I am suppose to be.

Today, I started an e-course with Kelly Rae.  I hope to learn tips and techniques that will help me transition my love of creating into a successful business.  Today's topic of exploring my fears and truly listening to my inner creative whispers hit home.  After reading today's materials, I decided to blog about something that has special meaning to me...the butterfly and it's significance for me.